Why do we get scared when we speak up? Is it because of social conditioning that we have to keep up with our good girl image? From our childhood days we have been told countless times ” Be nice to people”. But at what cost when people bully us! Making us feel uncomfortable and low?  We aspire to have human connection, but are we mindful of toxic connection? Why do we need to tolerate hurtful words, maintaining a relationship that our heart want to end? Simply because we feel scared! Am I a bad girl? Will I get punished for speaking up! We get overwhelmed with guilt and fear. Hey this is twenty first century world! How could one think like that? Yeah, that is the hard reality, that hits more when one is deprived of family support, when the family is dysfunctional. So how to speak up amidst the fear and guilt? 

So what’s the way? The only way is to speak up even if we are scared. We need to be vulnerable to feel safe. Just remember that we need to stand for ourselves  with dignity and grace.     

 Let’s break the cycle of family and social conditionings, we women can no longer repeat the mistakes of bearing everything from subtle age to body shaming in the name of he or she is my uncle or aunty or my colleague. Just nip it at the bud, when wrong speech is entering our ears we  speak up then and there. Don’t allow any person to play any card, I am old, I am sick, I am the man.  I am the patriarch or whatever. Just standing for ourselves will initially make us feel vulnerable. But let’s sit with the discomfort and speaking up will bring long term peace and growth.

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